


Church's Day Off

by In_love_with_too_many_fandoms



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Day Off, Humor, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 17:53:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8677177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/In_love_with_too_many_fandoms/pseuds/In_love_with_too_many_fandoms
Summary: Tucker and Caboose decide to give Church a day off to be nice to their leader. It doesn't go as expected.





	

As I pace back and forth waiting for the two idiots to return, I can’t help but feel nervous. I should be welcoming the silence of the base, but I can’t. Knowing that Tucker and Caboose are out galavanting in the canyon with Sheila, who knows what kind of trouble they could get into. They might come across one of the reds! For once, they might do what they’re trained to do and kill the blues!

I stopped pacing and realized the magnitude of my situation; I am alone. I don’t have to watch Caboose’s every move to make sure he isn’t getting into trouble. I don’t have to deal with Tucker begging me for information or items. Doc, no one knows where he is and honestly, no one cares in the slightest. The tank is gone, but the only time I need to worry about Sheila is when Caboose is operating. ‘I am alone!’

I can do whatever I want to. I have the entire base to myself. There’s no one around to distract me. I sprint to the section I’ve designated as my room. Leafing through my stuff, I find the novel I’ve attempted to finish reading. I go to the spot I’ve deemed my bed and lie down on the cardboard box that makes it so. I crack open the page I’m up to and notice that it’s the second to last page. “Fuck!” I shout. The radio crackles to life but no one speaks. 

I hurriedly change to a private radio channel. “Now I have nothing to do.” I close the book and throw it against the wall. I stand up and start pacing again in order to get the ideas flowing. ‘One of those losers must have something to read,’ I thought. Hold that thought. Caboose probably has jack shit. ‘Hopefully Tucker will be my saving grace.’

I leisurely strolled to Tucker’s designated section of the base. Trying not to move things from its original spot, I gingerly leafed through Tucker’s things. I found some light reading material that wasn’t so much reading, more pictures than anything. I placed the magazine back in the place where I found it and got out of Tucker’s area as quickly as possible. Who knows what he’s been doing in there. A chill was sent up my back and I shuddered. I choked down the bile building in the back of my throat.

I made my way over to Caboose’s area, just in case. When I entered, the scene that greeted me was utterly shocking. There was a neatly made bed in the center of the room. Lining the walls, there were floor to ceiling bookshelves! There wasn’t a gap in them; there were books galore. It was like I’d died and gone to heaven (for real this time). Laughing like a madman, I crossed the room to get to the shelf opposite me. There was a large copy of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes catching my attention. I picked it up and walked over to the chair residing next to the bed in the center of the room. I sat down and opened up the book. 

“What the fuck!?” I screamed. The book was not what I expected at all. Inside I anticipated numerous, glorious pages filled with Doyle’s superb writing. To my dismay, I instead found a book hollowed out to it’s back cover. Inside the hole, there resided a bag of potato chips. As anger surged through me, I tossed the book at one of the shelves. There was so much force, it fell over. A fair amount of the books opened up. Inside of them, there were various food items and a couple of letters. I ignored everything and left the room. I couldn’t be bothered to clean up Caboose’s idiotic slew of ‘books.’

I went back to my ‘room’ and collapsed on my bed. If I couldn’t read, I might as well get some sleep. I closed my eyes, and sleep instantly found me.

-

“Is he asleep or dead?” I could hear Caboose’s voice coming from somewhere off in the distance. 

“He’s not dead you idiot!” Tucker shouted. I could feel a hand reaching for my radio dial. “Obviously he can hear both of us because we’re on the same channel.”

I groggily sat up and tried to wipe the sleep out of my eyes, but my hand only hit my visor. I shook my head rapidly like a dog would as it tries to dry off. “I’m up. I’m up.”

“Church!” Caboose’s arms quickly wrapped around my body. “I was afraid I killed you again, but you’re alive. Good.”

“Caboose, get off of me!” He quickly removed his arms from around me. “What do you mean by ‘I was afraid I killed you again’?”

“It was my idea to leave you to the base all alone. I was afraid you had died during your alone time.”

“No, I’m still alive.”

“Sadly,” Tucker muttered under to his breath. 

“What was that, private?”

“Hm? Oh, nothing.”

“Yay! Life!” Caboose tried to break the tension, but it didn’t do much. Church began to focus his anger on Caboose.

“Your little idea was pretty dumb, by the way. It was the worst day in my entire life.”

Caboose’s face was covered by his helmet, but it was obvious he was upset. “I thought it was pretty smart.”

“No, it was not. First, I was freaking out over you two because I didn’t know you left me on my own accord purposely. Second, I went to finish my book and it turned out that I was already done with it. Third, I searched Tucker’s room for something to-”  
“You went through my stuff!?” Tucker screamed. He sprinted to his room before I could finish my story.

“Yeah, and Caboose’s too.” 

“You went through my things.” Caboose took off to his room as well.

I sighed and collapsed onto my makeshift bed a second time. I could hear Tucker and Caboose complaining before they even got here. Their voices mixed together, but I could tell they were both pissed off that I went through their stuff.

“And this was supposed to be a nice day for me,” I muttered. “This was going to be my rest and relaxation day. So much for that.”

I left the comfort of my room to face the two monsters head on. I got myself into this problem and I was the only one who could get myself out.


End file.
